Embrace GRAYce

It takes a lot of energy to be negative. A former gang member who served 14 years behind bars helped me to understand that. Funny.

From my privileged perspective, America lives naively abundant. The world has evolved to a place where we have literal facts at our fingertips; yet, we choose to ignore those facts and believe fluffy press releases & mainstream media over the uncomfortable truth. Sometimes it’s easier to accept misinformation as true…

I was unknowingly taught that when I was 8.

When you don’t know any different, it’s near impossible to understand otherwise.

In a lot of ways I’m still naively abundant….until I do the research. That second part is a lost art, hint — take note and do better.

I recently found a safe place in books. I read a lot as of lately. I stopped reading for pleasure for about thirty years. Sure, on occasion, I’d pick up a smutty novel for vacation here and there… otherwise life was too busy…

A few months after I started working in Mayberry, my love for books returned…. When reading felt comfortable again after intentionally making space for it, like magic, I found love and compassion for ME.

Reflecting on why I stopped reading, I realized I needed to embrace what made me uncomfortable. Hard truth: I didn’t know how to properly take care of myself because I was taught to put everyone else’s needs before my own…

……..and then Embrace GRAYce was born.

I still have moments where I forget about myself, like now, when life feels like too much. Pedophile Trial #2 was continued from last Monday and starts tomorrow… Halloween. Fitting for the defendant on trial.

My plate overfloweth and I have to consciously remind myself I’m the only person on this planet whose job it is to protect and care for me.

Healing doesn’t happen overnight and I’m learning to trust myself, as well as the process.

It wasn’t an easy road getting here and I developed extremely thick uncomfortable skin from repeatedly getting burned by the patriarchy. Cheers Jimmy G & DC Weazy.

My girl Taylor Swift says it best in Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?:

… You caged me and then you called me crazy
I am what I am ‘cause you trained me

I was caged in Will County. Akin to a cheap side show feature put on display to deflect responsibility from the true republican wolf in democrat sheep’s clothing. Jimmy G, celebrity in his own head, being the masterful ringleader of the Circus that remains.

I like to give credit where it’s due, Jimmy G fooled me gooooooooood, just like the public that is electing him to his 8th term in office.

This is where my childhood kinda screwed me. I thought white men in places of societal power were like my Dad. Call it modified daddy issues.

Spoiler Alert: My daddy isn’t part of the patriarchy I referenced in That’s Not MY Justice System. Papa Dave is like me, a Highly Sensitive Person aka HSP.

Pareto’s Principle applies here, 20% of people do 80% of the work. I used to say that all the time in Will County. Looking back on life, every environment I’ve ever played a part in felt like Pareto’s Principle with me doing the work…. probably because it was true as that’s how HSPs are biologically made. What Pareto didn’t know in his infinite wisdom, was that the 20% “doing the work” —-are HSPs.

If you’ve been unfortunate enough to meet me in the last three months, you’ve likely heard about HSPs. Can’t be a cult member if I’m not trying to sell everyone I know on it, right?

It’s biology, you don’t get voted in.

I take notes as I read. I’m old school and like paper books. If you have a better system, LMK. A summary of my notes to explain what an HSP is:

Although new evidence will come, right now, no matter the researcher, we all seem to agree that this trait:

• is innate, genetic, or “constitutional” (although some think other factors may contribute).

• is always found in a minority, around 20 percent.

• involves a preference to notice subtle aspects of the environment and to pause in new situations in order to observe and compare to past knowledge (although sometimes past knowledge leads to comparatively swifter, more confident action).

• evolved in more than 100 species because it provides certain advantages for survival.

• is not a disorder or vulnerability, because while those in poor environments, especially in childhood, are more subject than others to problems, those in supportive, enriched environments function better than others in various ways. This is called “differential susceptibility.”

ACRONYM FOR EASE:

DOES

Depth of processing

Overstimulated easily 

Emotionally Responsive & Empathic

Sensitive to subtle stimuli

If you’re looking to get back into the reading game, and relate to my big feelings, I’d recommend Highly Sensitive Person by Dr. Elaine Aron.

If you qualify as an HSP after taking the self-test, your invite to my Compassion Compound is in the mail.

I was raised in a world created for the 80% aka non-HSPs, like many of you.

Does that mean the other 80% are insensitive, heartless, soulless humans? Noooo, they are the warriors. We all have our innate roles that should be embraced and valued.

Without HSPs in positions at the top in a society or organization, the warrior types tend to make impulsive decisions, that lack intuition, use power and force abusively, and fail to take into account history and future trends. It’s no insult, it’s just their nature.

With social needs being met in the warrior style, expansion and profit become the only concern. 

[Judges, Presidents, CEOs and other jobs meant for HSPs] are losing respect without HSPs quieter, more dignified contribution. 

It’s neuroscience, not delulu Jackie ideologies. Although, those are pretty entertaining too.

I shared this picture and sentiment on facebook the other day:

🖤🤍🩶 Edited two days after the fact — this post kind of blew up with likes, 20% being males. My settings don’t let my friends see the likes 🙃 I know my loud opinion can be polarizing so I do that to let people “react” without fear of judgment, even if angrily.

Granted, could be algorithm, males scroll social media less, target audience is likely women etc etc

50% of the “softies” or Wise Advisors are men, biologically speaking. Curious to find out which of my friends have self identified their HSP or sensory processing sensitivity. Intrigued? Start a convo 🖤🤍🩶

My guess is some people won’t understand this. I get that. Historically we celebrate the loud warriors, only the strong survive, right?

I’d say no.

The Warriors executed plans that were formulated by Wise Advisors— in turn leading them to victory.

Both warriors and advisors have their respective role and play their part. Balance is beautiful.

It’s ok to be the “soft”, unspoken hero. It’s also ok to be the tough warrior. Embrace your role.

Embrace GRAYce.

My therapist has a sign that says “You Will Get There.” During one of my toxic lows in Will County, I remember ugly crying while looking at that sign and begging her for an answer “WHEN?!”

Now. It only took 38 years and leaving a toxic government environment.

I’ve been told this blog is “too much”. Walk a day in my shoes with my brain before telling me it’s too much.

Or don’t and I’ll give your opinion the weight it deserves.

Life is more abundant when you channel the negative energy into positive.

Even when you want to hurt your abuser in the same way he and/or she villainized you.

We have 99 problems, we don’t need another one. We need solutions. New Boss helped me with that a year ago by saying I needed to go from 150 mph to 15 mph.

I was living to WORK. Not the other way around. When you work in a breeding ground of shame, blame, guilt, you slowly add on hours to your work week over the years.

To Jimmy G’s credit (and his inner cabinet)……I was repeatedly told that “I cared too much.” They were right. I cared about humans, they cared about dollar signs and fluffy press releases.

That’s what happens when Warriors make it to places of societal power.

Be mindful of who you vote for.

Time to get the Sopchicks to school, until next time boos!