Embrace GRAYce

I’ve linked previous posts for context throughout. I can’t shut up & love people. Like that. If you’re new here, Hi I’m Jackie! This blog revolves around unheard stories, like Mady, Anthony, Rob, Jaron, Justin, Robert, Callie, Sonya, Edward, the list goes on…. that all have a common theme of (in)justice. It’s been a rough, dark storm. I’m hopeful for sunshine sooner than later. These unheard stories are those rays of sunshine that keep me dancing in the rain. For now, I’m embracing my gray. 🖤🤍🩶

Add aviators to the blonde above. Look familiar? If you said no, this is a lil awkward.

In my defense—says the prosecutor—my normally super high blonde pony was a wee bit deflated from the July humidity in Chicagoland… or by someone’s ego 👀

You seeeee…… my last day at Jimmy G’s office was less than a week away. He couldn’t find any time to meet with me after receiving my one month notice, three weeks earlier. Publicly saving a woman’s life got me that meeting, errrr, photo op. You won’t find news of my resignation in the press release. Doesn’t look so good.

I was only valuable when I made Jimmy G look good to the press. The other 8.5 years didn’t matter……to him at least ☺️

I know my value now, not that the road finding it was easy per se…

”Worry about your character, not your reputation. Your character is who you are. Your reputation is who people think you are.”

John Wooten

I lived fearfully for 8.5 years—afraid of society’s judgment and criticism that’s normalized. It took a lot of discomfort and conscious effort to reprogram my neurotransmitters to utilize the fear as fuel for compassion.

Like speaking out about the injustices I observed & experienced while working in Will County.

This dear diary adventure was the beginning and it evolved into using my not so sugar coated voice on social media… oh… and that podcast.

See COMMUNI-tea Support for Callie for an exploration of empathy and compassion.

The shiny reputations of our local elected officials aren’t as squeaky clean as they appear in press releases. And lucky for them I’m still a frustrated taxpayer.

I heard Old County’s Sheriff & his inner circle of dirt decided that I’m the problem versus do their jobs as community CAREtakers.

What’d I do? Was it my life saving assist? I’m not elected to do anything. Your truth hurts… I’m perfectly content with mine.

It’s about time OC Sheriff’s Administration feels the accountability. Until now they’ve had no idea. See: The Post With More Redactions Than A FOIA’d Police Report 

My “Do The Right Thing” mentality doesn’t exactly fall in line with the their unspoken policies & procedures. Maybe that’s why I didn’t get an invite to the Sheriff’s Awards banquet like last year….

STORY TIME

Thursday July 27, 2023: My last low risk drug court as the lead prosecutor for Will County Problem Solving Courts.

It felt bittersweet to leave my happy place. I’m proud of the PSC program that I was part of. Super sad to see its current state of turnover. The staff & participants deserve better. It was the best program.

The court docket that Thursday wasn’t as chaotic as normal with only one hundred sixty-nine felony cases on the call. Still heavier than a misdemeanor docket with less prosecutors.

Overworked and underpaaaaiiiiiiiiiiid.

The courthouse was the Sheriff’s Office’s jurisdiction—meaning it was the Sheriff’s responsibility to protect & save, serve I mean, the people in the building…. The deputies are specifically trained to save lives when they have the appropriate resources (narcan).

Glad my bestie Connie works for Will County Substance Abuse Initiative through the Health Department & educated me BEFORE this happened. She also stocked me with free Narcan for my car, purse, office, and courtroom. Know better, do better, right?

Few of the press releases & other tidbits from the day:

The prosecutor who saved a woman’s life in a pair of patent leather Tory Burch wedges, a reputation I’ll proudly wear as a badge of honor… although the facts of that day are blurry. Thanks PTSD.

I didn’t publish this story until now because it’s not my favorite—even if it makes me look like my idol Elle Woods. I’m not fueled by fake feel good press. I’ve avoided processing the trauma from this experience until now as well. It highlights one woman’s rock bottom and I don’t know how she is today. That hurts my heart. It doesn’t make this a warm fuzzy unheard story for me. I’m trying to embrace GRAYce through the discomfort 🖤🤍🩶 Here we go…

It was about 11 am—I stepped out of courtroom 401 to take an unexpected phone call & use the bathroom. The halls were pretty empty, 11 is late for felony land unless you have a hearing or trial — or worked in hug a thug PSC like yours truly.

Down the hallway twenty feet ahead, I noticed a young, slim woman, Mary*, sitting on a bench with her boyfriend. He was speaking with his defense attorney whilst holding Mary up, Weekend at Bernie’s style.

She wasn’t my Defendant, I didn’t know her.

Mary’s lips were blue. She wasn’t breathing.

I started screaming “Is she ok? Is she overdosing??” The defense attorney smacked his client holding Mary and said “Answer her! Is she overdosing?!” I heard “I think so” and started running back to 401.

My courtroom bailiff after the fact, “I didn’t know what was going on Jackie, but it sounded like a herd of cattle was coming toward the courtroom.”

No Miss M, that was my graceful butt running in Tory Burch Wedges —fast for me— down the courthouse hallway to grab my coordinator and the doses of Narcan I had stashed in Courtroom 401 from yet another close call just a year earlier.

In ‘22, one of my PSC Defendants was taken into custody for being high in court. Thomas K.’s* drug of choice was fentanyl. He used at the courthouse between taking his drug test on the third floor and walking up one set of stairs to courtroom 401. Thomas passed the test with flying colors, so we were confused when he was nodding out in the gallery. Luckily, know better do better, we had trained professionals who observed his overdose warning signs.

Judge revoked Thomas’s bond and took him into custody where he’d be safe with community caretakers…. Well so we thought… Thomas started overdosing in the basement of the courthouse before transport to jail. Deputies frantically ran outside to retrieve the life saving device necessary from a squad car.

Narcan, the life saving device, is a nasal spray—not a costly, giant piece of equipment.

Will County Health Department has that beautiful grant funded Substance Abuse Initiative that distributes Narcan. I’m not sure where the oversight happened to not have any in the courthouse when Thomas K. overdosed. Connie pushes Narcan like the best drug dealer in town.

Connie saved Mary’s life. Add it to the pages of lifesaving assists for that inspirational woman. Did I mention she’s fostering two babies under 5 for one of Jimmy G’s drug court graduates currently? Her children are grown. She got the call from DCFS while we were staging an intervention with Anthony at Casa Mex in September of 2023. You’ll hear the rest of her story soon….

Thomas K. luckily survived his drug toxicity. I proactively stocked 401 with Narcan & I assumed the Sheriff’s Office would do the same given Thomas’s close call… my dad always said when you assume you make an ASS out of U and ME… noted…

Fast forward a year I felt like an ASS as the four doses of Narcan I stashed in the courtroom weren’t enough—it took seven to resuscitate Mary. The Sheriff’s Office didn’t come with narcan until six doses had been administered by my incredible PSC coordinator.

The Deputies who assisted were helpful & I don’t want to lose sight of that. They called 911, administered cpr & the final dose that brought Mary back to life. They did their jobs with the resources available & still deserve warm fuzzies.

I’m especially impressed given the toxic admin at OC Sheriff’s Office. See above & below.

Overdoses weren’t a normal occurrence at that courthouse. We had two on 7/27/23, wonder why the second wasn’t mentioned?

Mary was someone’s daughter, sister, friend, family. She deserved to be treated with dignity, not like a waste of space and money… like the stigmatized comments in the local paper made it seem…

You’re welcome for the lifesaving assist Sheriff, happy to be part of the community!

The sentiment doesn’t feel mutual given your recent false narrative that I’m a scorned ex-employee who was fired….. amongst other salacious things…

Sticks & Stones OC Sheriff and Deputy Chief Weasel. What’s the saying? Those in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones?

Still doesn’t address the tax dollars they continue to throw away or their Deputy who killed an unarmed man.

Deflection at its finest ladies and gents!

Did I hurt your big feelings? Lemme buy you a beer. That’s how we debrief right?

Speaking of… THAT is a GREAT story. You know it Sheriff… The one where you had your deputies that were shot while executing a search warrant meet you at the bar when they were released from the hospital?

No? Don’t fret, I’ve got you in the next dear diary entry 😈 she’s a doooooozy.

While we’re discussing official misconduct… Hey DC Weasel…. Did the FBI classes teach you about libel or defamation? Good thing you have a 35 million dollar budget, but you know that with the millions in lawsuits we’re currently paying out and/or frivolously litigating.

Kinda like that false narrative from Crest Hill when a cop shot and killed a domestic suspect & DC Weasel told the press an Officer was stabbed by the suspect. Another heroic officer killed the perpetrator in defense of his “brother in blue”. While DC Weasel may have just been relaying what he was told:

Ironic.

DC Weasel, who has announced his candidacy for Sheriff next election cycle, thrives in his bed of UNaccountability & privilege.

This might come as a surprise… DC Weasel will not be receiving my vote in 2026. I expect honesty out of my Elected Officials. A foreign language to the human weasel species…

He tried to sink his own Deputy by giving a local reporter the “inside tea” on a work related PTSD triggering event. Told the reporter the cop was faking it.

That’s a legally protected disability sir! Your behavior is gross. Major yuck factor, Weasel.

BTW… Given your inaction to assist Deputies suffering from PTSD, I’d like to Thank YOU for bringing it to my attention. Helped me cope with my own trauma you’ve prolonged, on my taxpayer dime, for 3 years too long.

Vendettas aren’t my thing, accountability is 😘 Sound familiar, Weazy?

Speaking of overpromising and underdelivering…

A statement to the press from DC Weasel about his commitment to Mental Health —couldn’t say that without laughing 😆:

“The wellness of our deputies is an important aspect of the job. This starts during their orientation as a new hire. The County of Will has a comprehensive orientation with every employee upon hiring to review all the county benefits which includes the insurance plans that all have complete mental health coverage for the employees and their families. This orientation reviews all additional ancillary supports available to all employees.

In addition, the Sheriff’s Office has a separate orientation that has evolved over the years, but every sworn member of the department is introduced to one of the two clinical social workers that the Will County Sheriff’s Office employs. During that orientation each employee is given information regarding the employee assistance wellness plans that that county offers as well as contact information for the social workers who often refer our employees to providers for a variety of reasons.

In addition, anytime a member of the Will County Sheriff’s Office is involved in a critical incident we have a critical debrief of the incident. Depending on the circumstances, it may take time to accomplish the debrief. The Will County Sheriff’s Office has a working relationship with the Joliet Police Department regarding critical incident debriefs. Members of the Joliet Police Department debrief team will debrief our deputies, while our team will debrief their officers.

These debriefs are mandatory for our deputies, and during the debriefs the deputies are encouraged to reach out to obtain additional assistance if needed. If someone is unable to attend a debrief due to scheduled time off, the employee will meet with the social workers and are provided one on one support and information regarding additional resources regarding mental health.

Over the years our social workers have referred over 1200 employees and their family members to a wide variety of resources which include mental health, substance use disorders, legal resources, and financial resources. All these referrals are confidential in nature. In addition, the Will County Sheriff’s Office was recently awarded a grant regarding establishing a peer support team within the sheriff’s office, which is awaiting approval from the Illinois Law Enforcement Training and Standards Board.

During my tenure, previous approaches would include disciplining the employee up to and including termination. Now, when an employee is found struggling and in need of assistance the employee is afforded an opportunity to rectify the issues by seeking appropriate care recommended from a licensed clinical psychologist. In most instances the employee is returned to work after seeking treatment.

One of the current trends in law enforcement centers around officer wellness. There are a wide variety of training classes afforded to supervisors and police personnel to help identify the signs of an employee in need of assistance. As this ever-evolving trend continues, the Will County Sheriff’s Office will be committed to supporting our deputies and their families regarding officer wellness.”

Is it April Fools?

Is this the same DC Weasel who told a Deputy diagnosed with PTSD “I’m not giving you a gun” after the Deputy was ordered by the Sheriff to return to patrol after 1.5 years off duty or risk termination?

The Deputy was deemed “unfit for duty” by the County Psychologist. DC Weasel should know, he ordered the Deputy submit to an examination… 6 separate times. I’m sure that Deputy feels well supported by DC Weasel while currently on patrol.

DC Weazy’s statement sounds super wholesome & feel good. Too bad it’s a sham…

I talk… a lot… and build relationships. I have a soft spot for human beings. Especially when they’re treated unfairly.

One of my closest friends, Pat*, retired from OC Sheriff’s Office recently. Pat is silenced in all of this, which makes me loud as all get up.

Pat knew it was time to retire when tasked by OC Sheriff with disciplining a suicidal deputy upon returning from leave. Pat intervened a few months earlier when the Deputy attempted to take his life in their work parking lot, with his service weapon to boot.

The alleged infraction? Taking too much time off after his suicide attempt. The expectation that he be disciplined for taking care of his own mental health was the final straw for Pat.

Pat took the blame for the department finding out about the Deputy’s suicidal ideations. Pat called the social worker who “made 1200 referrals” for help. Social Worker didn’t answer Pat’s call (sounds familiar), but was made aware there was a “problem”.

Pat thought OC Sheriff’s Office would help their “brother in blue”. I mean DC Weazy says so…. so it much be true…

Another Deputy under Pat was also seeking mental health treatment and forgot to check in as required. Must’ve had something else on his mind.

How would you expect DC Weazy to respond to the above Deputy’s situations based on his statement to the press?

Well… the same Sheriff’s Administration that released that fluffy statement told Pat to discipline the deputies toward termination.

Wonder why Pat “retired”? 🧐

I almost lost Pat, too. Keep your head up friend. I see & hear you. I cannot imagine the anger and resentment you feel from reading that crock of BS out of DC Weasel’s mouth.

How many dead cops & community members will it take in order to change the lack of accountability in our local government?

We already have one. Did Will County Sniper Accidentally Kill Surrendering Man At Bank?: Lawsuit. I have a theory on how the situation transpired with Sonya Massey that’s related to this as well.

When the truth hurts, deflection heals? If you’re the OC sheriff, at least 🤭

Especially with accountability knock, knock, knocking on your door.

I have big feelings over elected officials and aspiring elected officials overpromising, yet underdelivering. Smells like we’ve got another stinky one coming through the ranks… Not on my taxpayer dime DC Weasel.

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UPDATE 8/8/24

My life feels like a sitcom sometimes. I try to find humor in everything, don’t take life so seriously no one gets out alive.

Within 36 hours of making this post public, imagine my surprise when I woke up to this on Facebook:

First and foremost, snaps for the sheriffs social worker who applied for and got the grant—something is better than nothing. I heard rumblings in the recovery community that they were hiring someone for the role.

Remember assume? ASS out of U & ME? Fast forward TWO years now and I’m laughing my ASS off 🤣

Maybe it’s just me, but this seems a bit reactive.

Narcan in pic with OC Sheriff’s name larger than life taking up most of the screen, although he did nothing to help the grant—or before it.

We spend 7 million dollars in unbudgeted expenses (jail detox hospital etc) reactively when we could plan and educate proactively at half the cost.

Also thank you for mentioning Family Guidance as it reminded me that their Drug Counselor Dani Jorgensen had the supplemental Narcan that was necessary for Mary after the first few doses weren’t enough. And the Sheriff responsible for the courthouse didn’t have any close by…. again.

Dani also administered Narcan to the second unmentioned girl who overdosed about twenty minutes after Mary…

Why was Dani doing your job, Sheriff? Why are we just now educating your employees when opioids have been an issue for a long time?

I’m glad we have the grant funding now, couldn’t find anywhere else to pull from your 35 million dollar budget? Or does life saving dampen your drinking on Lockport Street plans?

In sum, ITS ABOUT DAMN TIME 😘😘 and thanks for the chuckle.

What 🫖 is in store for next time at embrace GRAYce? A hint…

A criminal act done under the “color of law” doesn’t mean the act is not criminal. It only means someone is not accountable.

Hypothetical…. Would a deputy taking money or profits (for his own personal benefit) of a drug dealer’s crime while executing a search warrant be a crime? Or is it immune under the color of law bc he’s “one of the good guys”?

ALL Hypothetical of course, like the entire blog……… this is hypothetically speaking after all 😘