Embrace GRAYce

…. But what if you don’t know better?

Life is about perspective. Our opinions of the world are strongly guided by our own life experiences. When you stay in your own two shoes, you never have the opportunity to see the world from someone else’s perspective.

The tragically beautiful stories in this blog may not be broadcasted in mainstream media. Hardest reality of stories like Mady, Rob, Jaron, Justin, Anthony, Callie, etc….. is that they are more the norm than you think. Just because you don’t see it, doesn’t mean it’s not happening.

We can do better if we unite together. We have to choose to be open-minded and flexible to both new perspectives & experiences.

You, the reader, are helping be part of the solution simply by reading these unheard stories. I hope they motivate you to be a better human every single day.

As of the time of posting this, Biden just announced he will not seek re-election. I think that’s the wise choice for our country as a whole. After watching the debate, I had secondhand embarrassment. I saw two grandpas arguing over nonsense from their two white perspectives.

I didn’t feel confident in the future of our free nation, nor did I see two individuals that represent the beautiful people in our country.

This election season, I urge you to look outside of skewed, highly partisan popular media like Fox News, CNN etc for the knowledge you use to guide your vote.

We are an abundantly naïve society. With a wealth of information at our fingertips, we still choose to believe press releases & politicians over fact. We should be able to believe our elected officials, but when actions don’t align with words, we now need the accountability that’s been lacking.

Apathy and naivety will obliterate the original intent of our FREE Nation and our Democracy.

Depending on who the Dems appoint, it may be that glimmer of hope America needs to be motivated to be involved in our democracy again. Prosecutor v. Felon would be sexy. Fingers Crossed. We need a change.

With that being said, on to today’s lesson of Know Better, Do Better….

MEET ROBERT* 19CFXXX et al…

When I started in PSC in 2019, I worked double duty as a felony narcotics/gangs prosecutor in the AM & switched into my drug court white hat of justice in the PM. Robert started as a file on my regular AM narcotics docket. He was a 20 year old charged with a non-probationable Class 1 delivery of heroin with a sentencing range of 4-15 years in the Department of Corrections (DOC) aka prison.

While reviewing Robert’s criminal history, the thunder rumbled in my figurative life storm when I realized at the ripe age of 18 —his first adult case— Robert had been sent to “his room” by the Judge. In other words, Robert pled guilty and was sentenced to DOC on a Class 3 Unlawful Use of a Weapon.

Sounds like a scary charge. Facts of the case? Robert was pulled over for an “obstructed windshield” and a gun was found under his seat during a search of the car. He didn’t have a FOID or Concealed Carry Card. Not that he was eligible for a FOID with his limited juvenile arrest history….

He didn’t threaten or point the gun at anyone. The cops said they smelled weed and searched his car. Window obstruction? Crack on the right side that didn’t seem to obscure the driver’s view…. This was before body cams though and it’s not like a body cam can alert to the odor of weed anyways.

Cops word versus the 18 year old black gangster with juvy history… and looky looky a gun… interesting that they didn’t find weed when that was the probable cause to search….

… and that’s how our love story started 🖤🤍🩶

I wouldn’t be seen in Robert’s neighborhood without a gun. Let’s be honest. It’s rare I’d be seen there at all given the privilege I was born with…

The cops armed with bulletproof vests, squads, and weapons don’t even like going to the East side where Robert called home… Would you spend a night in Robert’s home or neighborhood without a gun?

I wasn’t there when he was arrested. Robert admitted he did have a gun. It was not his brother’s sister’s boyfriend’s gun or planted on him by police.

I don’t tell this story to cast judgment on any of the individual players. We need to acknowledge the reality in order to do better moving forward….

… at least a 2 year prison sentence wouldn’t set Robert up for failure the rest of his life. He clearly needed to spend some time in a prison cell thinking about what he did having a cracked windshield and a gun… no weed though.

Listen to a little more of Robert’s story then ask yourself, would I rather pay $50k/year to lock Robert up in DOC or pay $2.9k/year to provide resources to help him be a “better”, more productive member of society?

This doesn’t help my argument….. Color society shocked — within 6 months of getting off parole from the gun charge, 20-year-old convicted felon Robert got busted selling heroin to an undercover police officer. Once a criminal, always a criminal.

**Personally speaking, this isn’t legal or criminal advice, if I were a drug dealer I would not sell to any white males with beards… especially if they’re bald… that’d be like begging to pick up a case from an undercover… Know Better. Do Better.**

Given Robert’s prior gun case, he was not probation eligible on the new drug case. His options were drug court or prison…. well if I gave him the option for drug court… I had the poweeeeerrrrrrr to object.

How I saw it… with a felony gun conviction, no high school education or re-entry services provided to him in lockup, and with a newfound prison family of Gangster Disciples, Robert did what he knew best to survive when he got let out of “his room” on the gun charge—sell drugs.

Treat him like a hardened dealer or human being… tough choice…  🙃 I love felonsssss….

I didn’t object to giving Robert a chance at Drug Court. At 20, his brain wasn’t even close to being fully formed. He was just a kid making not so great decisions given his place in life. He was doing what he was taught. What he knew. He didn’t know any better.

I can hear it now “His parents should’ve taught him better.” They didn’t. Now what? Keep punishing him for having bad parents? No thank you.

The only time Robert saw cops growing up was to arrest him or family & responding to traumatic situations like shootings or deaths.

He didn’t have Officer Friendly like I grew up with.

Robert and I’s perspective on police officers growing up looked a lil different.

When Robert was close to graduating Drug Court, he struck up a conversation with me..

“Miss Prosecutor, wanna know how I started selling drugs?”

I laughed awkwardly, and way too loudly. Absolutely I wanted to know. Curiosity killed the cat. Meow.

“When I was 12, my Uncle Martin, you know my Uncle Martin Miss Jackie haaaaa….” — I did in fact know Uncle Martin. Robert & Martin’s last name is very well known in Joliet. Think Hatfield & McCoys. The family ties and criminality run deep. Not that I blame them per se.

“He took care of me during the summer while mom was working two jobs. Dad was in prison. Uncle Martin gave me 10 plastic bags of brown powder the summer I turned 12 and said I was responsible for helping the family. Help my mom provide because my dad couldn’t. I was too young to get a real job.”

PSC was my happy place. I formed a trusted “hood radar” I would utilize while evaluating applicants for PSC. One bad egg can spoil the dozen. One of my Defendants nicknamed me Mother Goose… seems appropriate to use here. Mother Goose was protective of her geese.

I had recently rejected Uncle Martin from Drug Court on the same charge Robert was allowed in on — Delivery of Heroin. In reviewing the criminal histories, Martin had been given many opportunities at 49 years old. Young Robert had not. Martin wasn’t a violent criminal by any means.

The results from his mental health assessment conducted by our team of well-trained social workers didn’t have any blatant red flags….. without a hood radar, I probably would’ve let Uncle Martin in.

Those tests helped provide insight as to potential diagnoses and a framework for treatment…. But that didn’t tell Mother Goose what she needed to know to protect…

Rob & Ant were my number one valued “hood radar”. They had the lived experience and knew information about applicants that no test would be able to tell me. I didn’t have their hood radar until 2022 though.

For some reason the hood radar was more successful in identifying potential hidden rotten egg clients than any of the research-based learned assessments.

Maybe it had something to do with the written tests being based on self-reporting….

In order to be valid, the individual has to be honest… we value honesty so much in society. Why would a defendant who is being judged on their answers have any reason to lie to the system that has helped them so much already?

Uncle Martin was —sadly— already institutionalized given his age & the penal system he grew up in. The hood radar made me believe that he was more likely than naïve Robert to take advantage of Mother Goose’s vulnerable drug court clients. So I had to object to Martin coming in….

That was before hearing Robert’s story about Uncle Martin. Not going to lie… this convo helped validate my objection as I wanted to give everyone a chance.

If it was Jackie’s world and I could properly separate Martin from the lower risk, more vulnerable population like his nephew Robert, I would welcome him with open arms.

The haters call it Hug a Thug Court for valid reason 😉

Supporting individuals like Martin took resources I did not have. Money that wasn’t available for his higher needs.

Martin is the sad result of trauma being compounded versus treated. That means we will continue to pay an exponentially larger cost for him to be cycled through being sent to “his room” and let out after thinking about what he did. On repeat. Thanks (in)justice system.    

“Martin was my uncle, why wouldn’t I trust him? I didn’t know it was heroin.” — Know better, do better. But what if you don’t know better?

“The first time I asked what the brown powder was, Uncle Martin said it was medicine. Made sense. The people who were buying it looked sick. I thought I was helping people.” — they were sick alright. Coping with their trauma by using drugs that would numb the pain of years of compounded trauma…. Weird how there’s no dealer on my neighborhood corner… No trauma in upper-class white America… hahaha..

In Robert’s neighborhood, the cops are waiting in the cover of darkness to bust those bad boy 12-year-old drug dealers selling so their Uncle’s don’t get arrested & dope sick drug users.

Thank goodness our taxpayer money is being used to prosecute these hardened criminals to the fullest extent of the law. The best punishment for Robert to learn about his crime against society would be to put him in four walls of a cell to think about what he’s never been taught to do better. Makes sense…

“After picking up a few juvy cases and getting reamed out by white Judges and lawyers telling me I was bad, I realized I wasn’t really selling “good” medicine for Uncle Martin. They called it Heroin… but that didn’t explain to me what Heroin was….. Uncle Martin didn’t scream at me & gave me $20 every time I helped him sell Heroin.” — hmmm… interesting perspective…

“When I was 13, I met some older guys in my neighborhood gang when I was locked up in River Valley [Juvenile Detention Facility]. They said I could make more money if I helped them. They also said they would protect me. That’s when I got my first gun.” — funny how that works…

“Everyone in court told me I was bad. I had to drop out of school because I missed class too much from being in juvy. My mom kicked me out at 14, I don’t blame her. I moved in with the guys from RV…. I’m not telling you what I did when I was in that life…. But I’ll tell you, Miss Jackie, I’m not that person anymore.”

“Anyways… I asked to tell you how I started selling drugs because I really just wanted to say thanks for giving me a chance. I smoked a little weed before drug court, but I wasn’t addicted to weed….. I was starting to get addicted to the lifestyle I was involved in. I know better now from Drug Court. I wouldn’t have known better if you sent me back to prison.”

Robert graduated from Drug Court in 2021 and immediately moved to be closer to his dad in Texas with his fiancé and baby girl.

This conversation and the underlying message will always be one of my favorites. A “piff” of epiphany.

Back to one of my original questions…

Would you rather pay $50k/year to lock Robert up in DOC to perpetuate his cycle of trauma or pay $2.9k/year to provide the resources to educate him?

In other words… Know Better &, in turn, Do Better.

With the current state of our government, I choose to find the humor and laugh at the absurdity of it all and I’ll keep bringing you the entertainment in this blog.

Bright idea… If we all start laughing LOUDLY together, I’m confident the egos of our local elected officials would cave under the pressure.

**Again personally speaking, not legal or criminal advice, if I were one of those unaccountable local elected officials I would choose to leave office to enjoy my taxpayer funded pension while it remains intact.**

I have a million naïve embrace GRAYce dreams after all… never know what’s up my sleeve next.

Make Democracy a VERB again. Get involved…. especially this election session.