Embrace GRAYce

Perspective and mindset are interesting… Ten people can witness the exact same thing and take away completely different facts and feelings. Goes to show life isn’t black and white, just a whole lotta gray. You know embrace GRAYce 😉

For most of my adult life, I was convinced that I ran away from problems. Jackie couldn’t handle the heat, so she got out of whatever patriarchal kitchen she found herself uncomfortable in. On repeat. 

I had a piff of epiphany when I asked myself the following question recently: Am I proud of the woman looking back at me in the mirror at the end of the day?

For the first time in my life, without hesitation, I said “F*** Yeah”. 

Would I be proud of a woman who lives in a mindset thinking she ran away from problems? Woof… prob not… doesn’t go with my vibe. So maybe I wasn’t running away from anything, but running toward who I am today.

Life is a journey—one that’s not always linear— and I felt like every time I took one step forward, I also took two steps back.

That’s where mindset comes in. I’m sure everyone has heard of Cassie Phillip’s “Let Them” theory by now—popularized by Mel Robbins.

Let them is a freeing concept. A common sense theory many of us have been societally conditioned, or taught, to forget about—especially women. 

Fact is, there are cultural and societal standards we all follow. American Men have been taught their entire value depends on their success, defined as monetary wealth—oh and, don’t have feelings. American Women have been taught they’re only valuable when they’re sugar, spice, everything nice, have feelings within reason so as to not offend feeling-less men, and be the mother to those you care about. 

These are colonial, outdated standards of the normative nuclear family—roles I’m suggesting and urging you “Think Again”— as one of my favorite psychologists Dr. Adam Grant says in his book—Amazon hyperlink to buy just click there, it’s life changing.

We all have Mommy and Daddy issues, in different ways—varying levels of trauma from childhood that form our perspectives on what gender normative roles people should fill. I’d call it an inherent bias. At some point…. as adults, it’s our jobs to grow up, open our minds, and accept responsibility for our actions.

We live in a society where confidentiality trumps culpability—in both law & society. Elected Officials parade around in public with fancy titles expecting respect—which I used to give, because I naively thought it was earned and deserved. 

News Flash: elected titles mean nothing about a person’s character— they are masks that hide the true character behind it. I refuse to show respect for people in those positions that haven’t earned it and don’t deserve to be there—many of our current elected officials.

Like the “Village Board Member” and “Volunteer Firefighter” titles the stepdad pedophile I prosecuted for horrifically and repeatedly raping his stepdaughter had. Those fancy titles didn’t change the monster he really is.

Reputation is who people believe you are, character is who you actually are. The gross characters hiding behind masks of reputation need to be held accountable and their titles stripped…. LOUDLY. Set an example.  

I have a common sense theory of my own I adopted after hearing about Mel’s “Let Them” practice…. Likely not as widely popular given my spicy disposition…. 

To those who doubt me… F*** Them. 

To those who think I ran from problems? F*** Them. 

To those who think I’m drawing attention to their lack of accountability because I’m a scorned, salacious woman? F*** Them. 

To those who think my heart is too warm and fuzzy? F*** Them. 

To those who think an IA commander sending this text shows nothing in regard to rampant corruption in a government agency? F*** Them. 

To those who dig things out of my past or use my livelihood in an effort to scare me into being quiet? F*** Them. 

To those who try to insinuate a person is bad because of things that person did two decades ago? F*** Them. 

To those who reappointed a misogynist Judge when they had the opportunity to do what was right and not popular?

I think you get the gist….

F*** Them doesn’t mean goodbye forever—just leave me alone until you do the work and do better for yourself. Everyone is capable of change, if you take the opportunity when offered—and if you didn’t take it when I offered it, welp…. well there is only one person to blame for your lack of accountability and it ain’t me 🤭

At the end of the day, I’m really proud of the beautiful, kind, intelligent, sassy, carefree in a world of hostility, grown ass woman looking back in the mirror. And in the grand scheme of things, I found the real me—it just took running away from all those societally powerful places that weren’t quite ready for this exclamation point.

My new world of rainbows and unicorns is pretty cool… and the safe place I’ve desperately been searching the wrong physical spaces for.

Now, it’s your turn.

Are you proud of the person looking back at you in the mirror at the end of the day?

If not, it’s ok, there is no more magical time than now to do better. Start the healing process before it’s too late… otherwise I’ll be forced to hold you accountable 😉 Although I’m really starting to enjoy it… call me a sadist…how does it make you feel, DC Weazy?

TLDR; FAFO. Keep the finger pointed in the right direction and embrace GRAYce my friends!